So this blog will seem something like a journal entry.
This week I learned a lot about friendship. I learned that if you surround yourself with the right people, you’ll be happy. I learned that rushing into friendships probably isn’t the best: you have to be able to trust them first. I learned that I have people that I never knew I had like that, that will love me and back me up no matter the circumstance. I learned that just listening is sometimes the best medicine. I learned that just venting is sometimes the best medicine. I really, truly grasped the fact that I have a group of friends that will be there for me. And I got really sad at some points. And really pissed at some points. But at most points, I was happy.
This world I, you, and we live it—it’s all pretend. No one goes a day without pretending. We wake up and we pretend we’re okay with our cardboard cut out little paper lives. It’s all made up. It’s hard to find a genuine human being anymore.
I guess if I were a good person, I would have taken it all back. I would have taken back all the mean words and all of the terrible glares. The cold shoulders would have been replaced with tiny smiles, and not a sarcastic word would have been said. I would have taken your advice and done everything right. I wouldn’t have questioned you. I would have said nice things during a fight, despite what I actually wanted to say. I would have been good enough.
It was going to be really clever. It wasn’t going to be a real blog at all. It would have been a sentence; it would have made you laugh, but it wouldn’t have helped you understand me at all. When you were leaving my page, you may have had more positive feelings toward me, but you wouldn’t have gotten to know me better. You would have smiled; you would have gone on with your day.
But maybe this post lets you see inside me a bit. Maybe it’ll help sway your opinion of me. Maybe you’ll think better, maybe you’ll think worse. Maybe you’re unaffected. Maybe you’ll notice my pet peeve is bad grammar. Maybe you’ll think I’m a cool kid. Maybe you’ll want to know me better, or maybe you now do. Maybe you’ll treat me differently; maybe you’ll treat me the same. Maybe you’ll remember me for this. Probably you’ll go on with your day.